Blog Archive

If Mom Has Cancer

I sometimes hear from middle-aged friends who tell me that their mother (or father) was just diagnosed with cancer. They then launch into their plans for her treatment. This is

How You Look And How You Feel

Cancer is a weird disease because you can have it and not be sick. Or you can look pretty good when you are sick. This is confusing for our friends

Don’t Give Advice

People often call me and say, “My friend was just diagnosed with cancer. What can I do to help her?” My answer is simple: Be present and don’t give advice.

Being Present

Being diagnosed with cancer is like entering a dark and unfamiliar place. Imagine being suddenly transported deep inside a cave. You sense creepy things all around and it’s hard to

Helping A Friend With Cancer

Nearly everyone has had a friend, neighbor, co-worker or acquaintance diagnosed with cancer. Most people want to be helpful, but may fear being intrusive or simply getting in the way

Personality And Cancer

Clients often tell me the weird things that people say in response to their cancer diagnoses. Most often, these comments are well-intentioned, but awkward. One comment recently shared with me,

Don’t Be Obnoxious

I sometimes hear people say that they best way to get good health care is to be obnoxious. By this, they mean that you should demand that the doctor see

Parking Lot Memories

You’re initially stunned when you hear the words, “You have cancer.” Your brain freezes and things are a blur for at least a few minutes. A friend recently asked me