Supporting Others with Cancer | Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes

Blog Archive

New Zoom group!

Virtually Together is the name of our newest group. It will meet by Zoom and is open to everyone – cancer patients, survivors, loved ones, all genders, and those affected

What to say – and not say – to a person with cancer

Most people find it awkward when first talking with a friend or acquaintance who has just been diagnosed with cancer. Even though nearly everyone is well-intentioned, many say things that

Don’t Give Advice

People often call me and say, “My friend was just diagnosed with cancer. What can I do to help her?” My answer is simple: Be present and don’t give advice.

Take the right person with you to medical appointments

In a recent article, I encouraged people with cancer to take someone with them when they went to important medical appointments. When you hear the words, “You have cancer,” you

Stopping treatment is not giving up

I sometimes hear from individuals with advanced cancer who continue with aggressive treatment because their loved ones exhort them to “not give up.” Some family members go so far as

Why Aren’t They Doing More?

I sometimes get asked various versions of this question: “My father has advanced cancer, but they don’t seem to be treating him very aggressively. Why aren’t they doing surgery to

If Mom Has Cancer

I sometimes hear from middle-aged friends who tell me that their mother (or father) was just diagnosed with cancer. They then launch into their plans for her treatment. This is

Questions to ask yourself before giving medical advice on Facebook

I’m often startled by the medical advice that people give to their friends on Facebook. Sometimes it takes the form of saying, “You should do this,” but often it’s more

Advice for the College Student with a Parent with Cancer

There are thousands of college students in Ithaca and quite a few have a parent living with cancer. They often wonder how they can help their parent, and their parent

The opposite of positive thinking is not negative

I often write that friends shouldn’t tell cancer patients to “be positive.” It gives the patient one more thing to worry about. “I guess bad things will happen if I’m

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