We all have cranky days

Bob Riter is the retired Executive Director of the Cancer Resource Center. His articles about living with cancer appeared regularly in the Ithaca Journal and on OncoLink. He can be reached at [email protected].

A collection of Bob’s columns, When Your Life is Touched by Cancer: Practical Advice and Insights for Patients, Professionals, and Those Who Care, is available in bookstores nationwide and through online retailers such as Amazon and Barnes & Noble. All royalties from the sale of the book come to the Cancer Resource Center.

A woman going through cancer treatment was having a bad day. She was miserable and her friends were offering words of encouragement along the lines of, “You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

She told me that the encouragement didn’t help. She said that it was like wearing cold, wet clothes. Hearing that she’ll soon have warm, dry clothes didn’t make her feel any better. All she could think about was being wet and cold.

She felt badly that she was cranky with her friends who were trying to help. She asked that I write a column to apologize on her behalf.

Nearly everyone going through cancer has such days. You’re just miserable and that’s all you can think about.

This often happens a few weeks into treatment. At first, everything is new and scary. After a few rounds of treatment, the novelty wears off and you still have weeks of treatment ahead. You’re discouraged and grumpy.

If you’re living with metastatic cancer, you’re probably getting chemotherapy on a regular basis for the rest of your life. You come to terms with this, and you learn to live with cancer as a chronic disease. But there are days that you’re just worn out and down in the dumps.

This happens to all of us.

If you’re a friend or loved one, it’s OK to offer encouragement. But please understand if you don’t get much of a response.

It’s fine to sit in silence when the patient is grumpy. They will appreciate your quiet presence.

If you aren’t sure what to say, send a card that says that you’re thinking of them. It truly makes a difference.

And thank you for staying with us when we feel wet and cold.


Reprinted with permission of the Ithaca Journal.

Click here for all of Bob’s columns

Share:

Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
LinkedIn
On Key

Related Posts

Five Lung Cancer Myths

Lung-Cancer-Myths

If you’ve been diagnosed with lung cancer, you know all too well how many misperceptions surround this disease. Receiving the diagnosis is tragic enough without also being surrounded by harmful stigma.

Woman looking concerned and speechless listening to someone on the phone

How to Help… When You Can’t

We all know how it feels when someone we are talking with is not really listening. A person with a cancer diagnosis needs to have a safe space to share thoughts and emotions, without feeling judged or diminished.

Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes logo and Cayuga Health logo with "Affiliate" beneath

Cayuga Health Affiliation

The Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes (CRC) is pleased to announce we have entered into an agreement to become an affiliate of the Cayuga Health System (CHS).

Art and Cancer

Art and Cancer: A Collaborative Mail Art Exhibition in Geneva, New York on February 17th, 2024.