It came without a warning.
It rang through my mind like a giant gong
Announcing the entrance of a mighty royal person
Or the beginning of an era.
It shattered the comforting tranquility
That clothed my aging body,
Already aching from the daily tasks
Of staying alive.
It startled me.
I was first angered by its audacity
To enter my life where I do no harm to others,
Where I try to aid the discomforted, the injured,
The less fortunate than I.
I do not deserve this, I silently screamed into deaf ears.
I felt my fists clenched with fear and dread
And ignorance of what to will come
How would I handle this massive invasion into my body and my soul.
But time heals, and like storms, its fury gradually subsides,
Slowly sinking into the silence of the past,
Dissolving into the sea of the small daily demands
That occupy one’s daily existence.
But it’s presence never disappears.
For its unique light continually glows,
Always seducing my attention, forcing me
Never to forget its existence
I began to realize that this cataclysmic explosion in the base of my
Was not the harbinger of agony and death,
Rather, it was a sign to become aware
Of all the beauty of life and happiness that surrounds me.
It was a reminder of how fortunate I am to be alive,
how wonderful it is to feel loved,
how powerful it feels to be wanted,
how beautiful it is to see the fruits of my labors.
I am alive to experience to the passion of others
In their music, their art, their work, their science,
Their wisdom is revealed in their writings,
their songs, their poems, their works of art.
Those senses that deliver experience to my soul
Have numbed me by repetition and consistency,
Making me callous to the sensitivities needed to feel those miracles
That surround me, making me unique among all nature’s creations.
Instead of hating you, my Cancer, I thank you for awakening me
To what is important and beautiful about life.
I will survive, more thankful than ever
For the chance to remain alive.
David A. Levitsky
Diagnosed with prostate cancer