Why Aren’t They Doing More?
I sometimes get asked various versions of this question: “My father has advanced cancer, but they don’t seem to be treating him very aggressively. Why aren’t they doing surgery to remove the metastases in his liver and in his brain?” This is always a difficult question because the news is sometimes hard to absorb. When […]
If Mom Has Cancer
I sometimes hear from middle-aged friends who tell me that their mother (or father) was just diagnosed with cancer. They then launch into their plans for her treatment. This is when I ask, “What does your mom want?” This question is usually met by a 4 or 5 second pause, followed by a hesitant, “What […]
Questions to ask yourself before giving medical advice on Facebook
I’m often startled by the medical advice that people give to their friends on Facebook. Sometimes it takes the form of saying, “You should do this,” but often it’s more subtle and simply involves sharing a link. Before people post something of this nature, I wish that they would consider the following questions: Have you […]
Free Summer Camps for Children Whose Parents Have Cancer
Parents, Below are some free summer camp resources for your children to consider! Camp Kesem at Cornell University 2021: Virtual camp available this summer on August 15-20, 2021, as well as an in-person fall weekend retreat September 24-26, 2021. For more information contact [email protected] Camp Kesem at Cornell University was founded in 2014 and supports children in […]
Cancer and Positive Thinking
Whenever someone is diagnosed with cancer, people feel compelled to say, “You gotta stay positive!” (This is usually said with an enthusiastic pump of the arm). I’m a pretty positive guy and I’m all in favor of positive thinking, but I cringe whenever I hear those words. First of all, telling someone to be positive […]
Lessons Learned from Cancer
I’m always happy when readers tell me that the advice I provide in my columns about cancer is just as applicable for people with any type of serious illness. Increasingly, I think the lessons I’ve learned in the cancer world have applications to life even more broadly. Here are some examples: People should stop giving […]
Advice for the College Student with a Parent with Cancer
There are thousands of college students in Ithaca and quite a few have a parent living with cancer. They often wonder how they can help their parent, and their parent often worries about them. Here are some suggestions: For the college student: Educate yourself about your parent’s cancer. Some cancers are likely to be temporary […]
Cancer on your own terms
I once wrote a column about people who go through cancer with exceptional grace. A few readers said that the column made them angry. The comments were along the lines of, “I’m dealing with a crappy disease and you want me to do that gracefully? Well, phooey on that and phooey on you.” I’m always […]
The importance of caring in the doctor’s office
Cancer treatment involves operating rooms, chemotherapy protocols, and high tech radiation therapy equipment, all of which extend and improve the lives of people with cancer. But when I talk with people being treated for cancer, they don’t comment on the equipment or the science involved in their care. Rather, they focus on the quality of […]
Practical advice for getting second opinions
A woman recently diagnosed with cancer stopped by our office to say that she’s heard that it’s important to obtain second opinions from major cancer centers and to assemble a team of experts to provide her treatment. She asked, “How the hell do I do that?” Cancer guidebooks are full of grandiose suggestions like “assemble […]
