Send a Card
A group of us from the Cancer Resource Center recently spoke with a class at Ithaca College. One student asked, “How can we help a friend who has cancer?” Beth Brunelle, a member of our panel replied, “Send them a card.” She continued, “Although it might sound simple or trite, I love getting cards. My […]
How to help a cancer patient’s caregiver
I often write columns that suggest ways that caregivers can help the person with cancer. Today, I want to suggest ways that the rest of us can help the caregiver. I’m defining caregiver as the person most involved in supporting the patient. It’s typically a spouse, child, parent, sibling, or friend. This is the person most […]
Caregiving Friends May Need a Break
I received a call last week that went something like this: “My friend has cancer and she wants me to visit on a regular basis. When I do visit, all she does is complain about how awful her life is. I dread these visits and go only because I feel guilty if I don’t. I […]
Be Kind
I’ve written columns in the past that suggest what to say and what not to say to a person with cancer. Many readers have found those suggestions helpful, but a few have said that they wanted something even simpler to guide them. Here it is: be kind. This echoes the words of the Dalai Lama: “My […]
Just Listen
Visitors often leave the Cancer Resource Center with words of sincere appreciation. They’ll say, “You were so helpful to me.” What’s noteworthy is how often this help had taken the form of listening. When people are diagnosed with cancer, they’re inundated with information, advice, and other forms of input. Nearly every conversation they have presents something […]
Blended Families and Cancer
I regularly write about communication within a family when someone is dealing with cancer. American families are, of course, often blended families. People remarry. Connections change. When cancer is diagnosed, family members come together to share information and provide advice. Newer family members want to be helpful but might feel uncertain of what role they […]
A Question Not to Ask a Friend with Cancer
A Question Not to Ask a Friend with Cancer I sometimes write about the goofy things that people say to individuals who have been diagnosed with cancer. In almost every case, the person means well and just gets tongue-tied trying to find the right words. Those of us with cancer know that others stumble for […]
